KUALA LUMPUR – She shares her inspiring journey from pain and despair to strength and courage
Quantity surveyor and business owner Tiffany Seow Mei Teng was diagnosed with vitiligo and overweight since the age of 18.
Vitiligo is a non-contagious rare skin disorder in which white patches of skin appear on different parts of the body because of a loss of pigment in those areas.
Now 33 years old, Tiffany Seow didn’t let vitiligo hold her back from participating in Mrs Chipao Malaysia 2019 pageant. Instead she proved to everyone that with vitiligo she is truly beautiful and has shown an ability to do very well when she won the Mrs Chipao Malaysia 2019 crown. She also grabbed the Best Talent subsidiary title.
She loves getting involved in volunteering and giving back to the community and her interests include reading, dancing, singing, cooking, jogging as well as drawing.
Tiffany Seow is grateful for everything that has happened in her life. She shares her inspiring journey from pain and despair to strength and courage with Citizen Journalists Malaysia (CJMY).
Tell us a little about your background.
“Ever since I was born, my biological mother had abandoned me. My father was busy with his business and his new family so he sent me to a relative who had been taking care of me since I was a baby.
“In school, I was a prefect and class monitor and very active in extra curricular activities such as choir, cheerleaders, public speaking, drawing, calligraphy and volleyball. Through all these activities, I learned about leadership and management capabilities. I also worked part-time and saved enough money to learn the piano.
“After leaving school, I went to Tunku Abdul Rahman College to further my studies. I chose to study quantity surveying because I was good at maths and because I was very self-aware of my situation. I wanted a successful career that has future potential high job demand and salary so that I can support myself.
“I know that without family financial support, I can’t afford to choose this path. It was very clear to me that I would need to survive to look after my foster parents before I can even think about my own dream. I chose my path very logically at that time. I often say to people, “Everyone grows old, your dreams will never grow old as long as you keep the fire burning in your heart, be confident and the day will come when your dreams come true.”
Was it hard growing up?
“I was abandoned at birth so it is hard not to feel abandoned and insecure. I wonder is it because I’m not good enough, am I not a good girl, is that why they didn’t want me? Ever since I was little, I had known I was a little different from the others. I envied all my friends who get to grow up with the love of their parents. I often wondered why am I not being loved. I have been rebellious, I have been depressed, I have given my foster parents heartaches in teenage years.
“My foster parents are not very well-to-do. They are busy trying to make ends meet every month but nevertheless they have treated me like their own daughter. I’m really grateful to have them taking me into their family, otherwise I couldn’t imagine what would have become of me.
“I always wish to be someone useful and make my foster parents proud that their adopted daughter has grown up to be a useful person and I want to earn more money so that I can provide for them. It was really difficult for them to raise five children, including me.
“I told myself I need to grow up quicker than my foster parents as they are advancing into old age so that I can have the chance to repay my gratitude. Sadly, my foster father was taken away by cancer when I was 24. I remember before he passed away, I had told him I wanted to take the whole family out on a trip. I had just started working and managed to save some money for the vacation, but sadly this didn’t happen. This has become the greatest regret in my life.
“Over the past few years I have always tried my best to take my foster mum on trips around the world whenever I could while she is still physically capable of travelling.
“Now that I have grown up, I’ve gradually come to the realisation that there are things that we can’t change in this world. I’m thankful to my biological parents for giving me life. There are many different ways to look at a situation and I believe everything that happens is perfectly destined.
“Even though I have had many unpleasant stories growing up, I see them as a chance for me to gain wisdom, to shape my view of the world and help me to find the meaning of life. They have also made me appreciate what I have now and all the people and opportunities around me. I told myself, don’t wait around for things to happen and don’t waste our time. We need to make the most of our time here in this world.”
How did you find out you had vitiligo?
“I first noticed a little white patch of skin appeared on my forehead when I was 18 years old. My family thought it was just sweat stains that were found mostly in teenagers. They got me some cream which I applied but it never worked. Slowly, the patch continued to spread from my face to the neck. I decided to see a doctor who confirmed that I have vitiligo.
“I was afraid to let people know that I have this disease. I spent a lot of time and money on make-up to cover-up the white patches. I’ve got nothing to lose but after a few years I gave up trying to find a cure. The affected area didn’t go away. It was widespread and covered 90 percent of my face and 25 percent on other parts of my body. The doctor reassured me that this would not affect my general health, only the appearance of my skin.
“I want to look normal just like everybody else. But I know I wasn’t happy because I was in denial. How can I expect others to accept me if I don’t even accept myself.”
What was the experience like growing up with vitiligo?
“The biggest challenge is mental stress. I had to endure the staring from everyone, and even being outcast as some people think this is a contagious disease. I just felt like an outsider all of the time.
“People around me often have lots of questions to ask about my condition. Some may be genuinely care but not all and all that’s happening has made me really depressed during the first few years after my doctor diagnosed me with vitiligo. Some day a new white patch might just appear and on other day the patch will just suddenly expanded. When I see my skin is no longer in my control, it’s really a hard thing to cope.
“I’m grateful I have been able to face this reality with as much positivity as possible. I know many other patients have gone down a different path. They went into depression or some even took their own life. The biggest harm from this disease comes from the mental torture brought against the patients, more than the physical one.
“No matter how optimistic I am, I’m still a woman and I still have the vanity side of me who wants to be perfect and pretty. In recent years, I started searching internally. I read many books and I practice meditation and slowly my way of thinking changed.”
What have you learned and gained from having vitiligo?
“I discovered that everything else became smoother when I accepted what had been given to me. Once I built this positive energy within me, I feel stronger than before, I feel like I can tackle any challenges in life. I know my course of destiny has changed because I learn to change my perspective. I no longer complain about what I don’t have but instead focus on what I have. Gratitude is what can change your life.
“One important thing I gained from this vitiligo journey is a good partner who makes me feel special and worthy and loves me for who I am. He has shown me what unconditional love and support really are. He often tells me, “You are even more beautiful without make-up”. I was really touched. His sincerity, love and care make me feel so beautiful and confident.
“He always reminds me that everyone ages and what we see as beautiful skin and youth and all these will be gone as time passes. It’s the law of nature so what’s there to attach to and what’s there to be afraid of losing? I am so blessed to have found my husband Chen Yee Chieng who loves me for who I truly am. We got married in 2017.”
What was causing weight gain?
“When I was in Form 1 secondary school, I was suffering from hypothyroidism and started taking medication as prescribed for a year. So, after my last medicine, I decided to stop taking them because it made me feel like a sick patient at such a young age.
“The following year in Form 2, my weight shot up to 75 kg because of the side effect of hypothyroidism. After years of ignored weight gain, I realised I may be overweight. So in Form 5, I focussed on my health issue and on getting healthy by slimming down through exercise, yoga, dance and diet.
“After five years through my perseverance of “Exercise & Eat Less“ routine, I successfully slim down to a healthy body weight of 53 kg. When I did a medical examination of hypothyroidism, the report showed stable and I no longer need medication. Now I still exercise 2 to 3 times a week to maintain a healthy bodyweight.
“I believe people who can maintain a healthy body outlook, they can master their own mindset and also master their life.”
How did your interest in Mrs Chipao Malaysia pageant come about?
“After successfully running myown business and taking control of my work-life balance, I now feel very grounded and I have slowly found my passion in my life again. I feel hopeful and I strongly believe in the law of attractions. When you change your mind and your heart, the universe will change to help you achieve what set your mind to become.
“So, I decided that I want to take another challenge. I want to join pageant again. Three years ago before I got married, I had auditioned for Miss Chipao Malaysia pageant but I wasn’t successful. Looking back, my confidence and my experience on stage then were really quite lacking. But I didn’t give up. For the past two years, I worked hard to improve myself every single day. I took up the challenge having worked as MC and in event management, taken up modelling and had been appointed Ambassador of the Miss Malaysia Kebaya pageant.
“I am so grateful to have all these wonderful experiences gained getting on the stage and met many beauty queens and successful entrepreneurs. I learned from them their work and business attitudes. I recognised what my weaknesses were and improved on the areas I was lacking. 2019 has finally come and I decided it’s time for me to join Mrs Chipao Malaysia pageant.”
How does it feel to win the Mrs Chipao Malaysia 2019 crown?
“It feels amazing to be crowned Mrs Chipao Malaysia 2019 because I never thought a person with vitiligo could become a beauty queen. I have never expected it and I’m honoured.”
You are not just a beauty queen. You also have a talent for dancing, having won the Best Talent subsidiary title of Mrs Chipao Malaysia 2019. What would you like to say?
“Like most little girlsdream of being a princess, I too dreamed of being a princess when I was a child. I love spinning around in front of mirrors and dancing alone in a room imagining I being a princess. I just love dancing so much, that is why in the talent competition of Mrs Chipao Malaysia I was determined to show my talent and abilities in dancing.
“I had to quickly learn and practice the choreography in a short time, and being in the final camp for the pageant, it was really exhausting. I nearly gave up but my passion for dancing and my determination to do my best in this journey helped me to keep going. I’m grateful that all the sweat and hard work that I had put into it, the perseverance and most of all my passion of what I am doing has been rewarded.”
Tell us about your career and business.
“I worked hard for 10 years as a quantity surveyor. Being in this industry we were often required to work overtime and stayed late into the night to complete the work. I soldiered on. I know that everything I’ve learned will be mine forever. This was a challenging career in that we dealt with numbers, money, huge quantity of contract and construction drawings. I had to conduct site valuation on construction sites, and for a girl this wasn’t easy.
“So 10 years have passed, I honestly felt confident I have had enough experience and capability to do what I want now. I decided to quit the job and started the journey of chasing my dream. At that time, I was working as a contract manager with a five-figure salary and I felt I was losing passion in life, losing the meaning of being alive.
“I was blessed that I have enough savings to get me through the initial stage of starting a business. Doing business is all about taking risks and requires bravery and capability. If I don’t take risks, then I’ll never know and success will never come.
“Business wasn’t that great at that time. Many people asked me, ‘Aren’t you afraid if you have no work going into the business?’ Being a woman in the construction industry, it will be quite difficult. To be honest I didn’t think too much. For me, I will never know the answer if I never try. I would rather make mistake than miss the opportunity and regret for the rest of my life.
“Being out of the comfort zone, I started taking jobs on my own and having to prepare my wedding at that time, renovating my new house and learning many new things all at the same time.
“I am truly fortunate and very grateful for having my other half at my side walking this journey with me. He’s in the same industry so whenever I faced any challenge at work, he will be always there to offer encouragement and guidance, and always ready to share and debate ideas with me. Without him, TS Cost Consultancy would not be running and growing so smoothly. Having someone who supports me unconditionally is one of the reasons I have been able to persist and continue on this venture.
“I’m also very thankful to have the support and assistance from my ex-coursemates, ex-colleagues and ex-bosses. At the moment, my business is growing steadily by positive word-of-mouth.
“I am very blessed to be able to travel the world with my other half together as much as we could afford. I believe it’s important to create memories.”
You’ve braced your fate and overcome obstacles in your life, what advice you have for people with vitiligo out there?
“I once believed that because of my skin condition, I could never be a beauty and stand on the stage. I once believed that we need to present our best in a beauty pageant.
“By getting rid of these beliefs and fear, I’m not holding back anything. I can fly and achieve what I want to be. Beauty pageant for me is where we present the true self, the real you and that’s the most beautiful you. I can now say it loud and proudly say, “Yes I have vitiligo and I am a confident and beautiful woman.
“I love traditional costumes like chipao so I hope to use Mrs Chipao Malaysia as a platform to inspire people, especially for other girls with vitiligo, to be brave.
“I hope to set a good example in our society by spreading and increasing awareness about this skin condition, and hopefully more industries will accept vitiligo patients as they are. We do not need pity. We need a fair chance and treatment. Please don’t look at us with a tinted glass, it will hurt. I hope our society will give more love, support and positive encouragement to vitiligo patients. Remember, a simple word of kindness from you can save a life.
We are worthy of love. We are worthy of everything we deserve in this world. Go for it, chase your dream with everything you have. You don’t need to hide in the darkness, only you can save yourself. The biggest hurdle is your own perspective. Once conquered, you can achieve your dream.
“Be brave, take that first step
Don’t dream your life
Live your dream.”
What are the five most valuable things to you?
“Time, health, love, character and memories.”
How do you see yourself and relate to other people?
“I believe that everyone has a role in this world. There must be a reason why this has happened to me. Perhaps the universe knows that I will be able to take this challenge to raise myself up and through all these I have come to accept myself, everything about myself, the good and the bad, and the imperfection.”
Are there anyone in particular you want to show appreciation and express your gratitude?
“I would like to thank Miss Malaysia Kebaya (MMK) organisation founder Jason Hee Jee Pin and national director Nicole Fe Lynne for not only accepting my application for audition, they even encouraged me right from the beginning that my skin condition is just a small issue and as long as I’m confident of myself, then there’s no problem. They gave me hope that the world is still full of kind people with big hearts.
“Another person I should give thanks to is my foster mother Lim Mooi Hong who has always inspired me the most. Because of her I did not end up in an orphanage. Even though my mother is not highly educated, she raised me to be happy and she loves me, cares for me and leads by examples and taught me to be a better person with gratitude, to work hard and give my best for everything I do.
“My mother taught me the meaning of life, the meaning of love. Even though she didn’t have me in her womb for nine months, she gave me life and for that I’m forever grateful to her. I love you mom.”
